Day 38

Not much to say. Feeling well and happy to know about the jumping-before-breakfast tip. I've been doing the jumping and workout almost every morning before ingesting any food. On Sunday I woke up feeling weak. Twice before that I had to do my routine in the evening. Same thing today. Otherwise, I've tried to keep the habit of waking up, putting on some socks and training shoes, stretch a bit and start skipping.

I really hated PCP food on Sunday. I had the most devilish thoughts invade my head. I felt a giant pizza covering my cortex. It really sucked. But after working out in the evening, I ascetically appreciated my dinner and slowly went back to PCP mode. On Saturday I was wondering whether my mental and physical changes were only momentary or if they could be definitive. Pizza cravings and the foul mood on Sunday confirmed that sticking to the plan is by no means a guarantee that after day 90 things will have changed forever. This, instead of being a pessimistic thought, was kind of humbling. It made me realize that we are not enrolled into a magical programme but that working hard, every day, is an aspiration that if anything will only begin to grow on day 90.

What has changed is my awareness and understanding of my body. I'm beginning to understand the whole "listening to your body" metaphor. I feel that before starting PCP my life-style was quietly suicidal. I think by now I know this much; I can discern a healthy lifestyle from a sedentary and lazy illusion of wellbeing. I am beginning to dispassionately appreciate my capacity to be a self-disciplined individual. I don't want my own words hunting me in the future, so take my word when I tell you that I'm not exaggerating one bit in what I'm saying right now. Yes, there are tough days. But now that a good chunk of the project is behind us, I can say that I count mostly good days.

I guess I had something to say after all.